So here we are.....me and the kids. It is almost 11 pm. Thankfully all three of them are sleeping...for now. Yet there is still so much to get done before I get to sleep.......
3 days into our second deployment. Yes I said "our" he gets on the airplane and I pick up the responsibility of everything at home the yard, the house, all three kids, and everything that decides to go wrong. I am not bitter.....although sometimes I want to be. Especially after days that never end. It is only Wednesday and I am exhauseted. I still have the rest of the week. And let's not talk about the weekend.
I thought I was good til today We've done this before and for a longer period of time. And bam out of left field it hits...the why should I do anything? Not like he is here to appreciate it anyway. **shrugs** The woe is me week has started. Feeling like at any moment if someone says the wrong thing you might just melt into tears. Going on post is almost painful since there is a good chance you will see someone wearing the uniform you are so used to seeing walk through the front door. Praying that the phone rings......checking the phone to make sure it works....checking and rechecking your email to see maybe just maybe he sent you an email.
Then there comes the evening....dinner to get done, baths to be given, goodnight hugs and kisses.....then the question that hits the heart everytime it's asked..."When is my daddy coming home?" and all you can say to those big sad eyes is "soon baby soon."
So the dishes get done and the laundry gets thrown in the washer or the dryer or the floor...whatever is most convenient at the time......you carry yourself upstairs to bed.....you could sleep for a year..........if only your mind would let you. You lay there as still as possible...maybe just maybe if you think real hard...you can hear the sound of his breathing or the touch of his hand on your face...or the feel of his kiss as he tells you good night. But all you can hear is the prayer you say everytime he has to go away...."Please God keep him safe from harm let him come home to us." and all you can feel are your tears as they roll silently from your eyes.
So here we go on our second journey through the deployment world......let's see how it all unfolds....until next time
