I was chatting with a friend today and we were venting about being MRS! Why you ask? Well it seems like it defines who we are but it doesn't tell people WHO we are. What we are capable of or the strength that we have in our spirits. Being Mrs Hughes is not a bad thing in my life. It is actually a pretty great thing. But sometimes I feel like my life is defined as MRS. I am not JUST a wife. I am an Army wife. I am strong. I am independent. I am smart. I am beautiful. I am my own person. I guess I just want people to see me as my own person. Everyday I am addressed by two titles, Mrs Hughes and Mom (in various forms) With the acquisition of those titles I sometimes feel like I have lost a part of myself. I feel like I have lost me. I wonder where I lost me.....let's take a look over the last few years of my life as Mrs Hughes....
Nov 03 - We get engaged
Jan 04 - We get married (yay!)
Feb 04 - Allen leaves Germany for NC for SFAS (special forces selection school)
Apr 04 - I leave Germany for Ft Leavenworth. I am 6 weeks pregnant.
Sep 04 - Allen leaves Germany for Ft Leavenworth. I am 7 1/2 mos pregnant.
Oct 04 - I get my discharge from the Army (kind of sad :( )
Nov 04 - Allyson is born
May 05 - We move from one house on post to another. Basically he moves the boxes I put everything away! LOL
Aug 05 - We are pregnant again....(wonder how that happened?!?!) LOL
Jan - Mar 06 - Allen is at Ft Leonard Wood, Mo for BNCOC
Apr 06 - Abigail is born
Aug - Oct 06 - The girls and I leave KS for TX. We stay with Grandma and Grandpa until Allen joins us
Jan 07 - I start college.
Feb 07 - We are pregnant again.....(now I really wonder what is going on!!) LOL
Apr 07 - our rent house floods....very lovely
May 07 - Allen leaves for Iraq..the start of a 15 month tour. The girls and I move to north TX to be close to family.
Sep 07 - Anthony is born. He spends a week in the NICU. Allen is home on leave.
Oct 07 - Allen is back in Iraq and we have 10 mos to go on this tour
Jan 08 - We move back to Ft Hood
Mar 08 - My grandfather dies. The kids and I fly to NM so I can attend his funeral. I don't know to many people that have flown with three children under the age of 5.
June 08 - Anthony has surgery to put tubes in his ears.
July 08 - Allen is home from Iraq
Jan 09 - We get orders to Ft Carson, Co. Report date 10 March. We get that changed. We don't have to be there until June
Apr 09 - I fly to Colorado Springs to find a house.
May 09 - I graduate from Central Texas College. We pack up the house and go on leave.
Jun 09 - FINALLY in our own house! LOL
Aug 09 - back to school for me! yippee!! family vacation to Hawaii
Sep 09 - Allen catches a plane to Afghanistan, we find out we get no R&R. We will do 9 mos without a break. We did 10 before we can get through this.
Abigail has a reaction to milk and we find she is lactose intolerant.
Oct 09 - Allyson falls down the stairs and sprains her neck.
Dec 09 - Allyson spends the week before Christmas in the hospital with a virus that has caused swelling of her internal organs.
Feb 10 - Anthony has had a double ear infection twice since the first week of Feb.
Of course this is just a quick list of what I can remember off the top of my head. Where did the me I know go? I look in the mirror and I see Mrs Hughes. The tight lipped Army wife who is mad because the Army made her change their plans, again. Mrs Hughes the volunteer that gets yelled at by another spouse because she said something she didn't like. Mrs Hughes that stands with her children as SSG Hughes walks away to get on an airplane. Mrs Hughes that takes a deep breath when the phone rings. Mommy that holds her babies extra close since Daddy is away. Mommy that cleans up everything. Mommy that makes Valentine cookies in Dec with the kids so they can get there by Valentine's Day. Mommy that stays awake all night because her baby is sick. Every once in awhile I catch a glimpse of Adrienne. She is standing next to her Soldier with their babies in front of them.
Daisypath Friendship tickers
Monday, February 22, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Military Wife
This was posted by a fellow Army Wife. I thought I would share.
Military Wife
Lots of moving...
Moving...
Moving...
Moving far from home...
Moving two cars, three kids and one dog...all riding with HER of course.
Moving sofas to basements because they won't go in THIS house;
Moving curtains that won't fit;
Moving jobs and certifications and professional development hours.
Moving away from friends;
Moving toward new friends;
Moving her most important luggage: her trunk full of memories.
Often waiting...
Waiting...
Waiting...
Waiting for housing.
Waiting for orders.
Waiting for deployments.
Waiting for phone calls.
Waiting for reunions.
Waiting for the new curtains to arrive.
Waiting for him to come home,
For dinner...AGAIN!
They call her 'Military Dependent', but she knows better:
She is fiercely In-Dependent.
She can balance a check book;
Handle the yard work;
Fix a noisy toilet;
Bury the family pet...
She is intimately familiar with drywall anchors and toggle bolts.
She can file the taxes;
Sell a house;
Buy a car;
Or set up a move...
.....all with ONE Power of Attorney.
She welcomes neighbors that don't welcome her.
She reinvents her career with every PCS;
Locates a house in the desert, The Arctic, Or the deep south.
And learns to call them all 'home'.
She MAKES them all home.
Military Wives are somewhat hasty...
They leap into:
Decorating,
Leadership,
Volunteering,
Career alternatives,
Churches,
And friendships.
They don't have 15 years to get to know people.
Their roots are short but flexible.
They plant annuals for themselves and perennials for those who come after them.
Military Wives quickly learn to value each other:
They connect over coffee,
Rely on the spouse network,
Accept offers of friendship and favors.
Record addresses in pencil...
Military Wives have a common bond:
The Military Wife has a husband unlike other husbands; his commitment is unique.
He doesn't have a 'JOB'
He has a ' MISSION ' that he can't just decide to quit...
He's on-call for his country 24/7.
But for her, he's the most unreliable guy in town!
His language is foreign
TDY
PCS
OPR
SOS
ACC
BDU
ACU
BAR
CIB
TAD
And so, a Military Wife is a translator for her family and his.
She is the long- distance link to keep them informed;
the glue that holds them together.
A Military Wife has her moments:
She wants to wring his neck;
Dye his uniform pink;
Refuse to move to Siberia ;
But she pulls herself together.
Give her a few days,
A travel brochure,
A long hot bath,
A pledge to the flag,
A wedding picture,
And she goes.
She packs.
She moves.
She follows.
Why?
What for?
How come?
You may think it is because she has lost her mind.
But actually it is because she has lost her heart.
It was stolen from her by a man,
Who puts duty first,
Who longs to deploy,
Who salutes the flag,
And whose boots in the doorway remind her that as long as he is her Military Husband,
She will remain his military wife.
And would have it no other way.
--Author Unknown
Military Wife
Lots of moving...
Moving...
Moving...
Moving far from home...
Moving two cars, three kids and one dog...all riding with HER of course.
Moving sofas to basements because they won't go in THIS house;
Moving curtains that won't fit;
Moving jobs and certifications and professional development hours.
Moving away from friends;
Moving toward new friends;
Moving her most important luggage: her trunk full of memories.
Often waiting...
Waiting...
Waiting...
Waiting for housing.
Waiting for orders.
Waiting for deployments.
Waiting for phone calls.
Waiting for reunions.
Waiting for the new curtains to arrive.
Waiting for him to come home,
For dinner...AGAIN!
They call her 'Military Dependent', but she knows better:
She is fiercely In-Dependent.
She can balance a check book;
Handle the yard work;
Fix a noisy toilet;
Bury the family pet...
She is intimately familiar with drywall anchors and toggle bolts.
She can file the taxes;
Sell a house;
Buy a car;
Or set up a move...
.....all with ONE Power of Attorney.
She welcomes neighbors that don't welcome her.
She reinvents her career with every PCS;
Locates a house in the desert, The Arctic, Or the deep south.
And learns to call them all 'home'.
She MAKES them all home.
Military Wives are somewhat hasty...
They leap into:
Decorating,
Leadership,
Volunteering,
Career alternatives,
Churches,
And friendships.
They don't have 15 years to get to know people.
Their roots are short but flexible.
They plant annuals for themselves and perennials for those who come after them.
Military Wives quickly learn to value each other:
They connect over coffee,
Rely on the spouse network,
Accept offers of friendship and favors.
Record addresses in pencil...
Military Wives have a common bond:
The Military Wife has a husband unlike other husbands; his commitment is unique.
He doesn't have a 'JOB'
He has a ' MISSION ' that he can't just decide to quit...
He's on-call for his country 24/7.
But for her, he's the most unreliable guy in town!
His language is foreign
TDY
PCS
OPR
SOS
ACC
BDU
ACU
BAR
CIB
TAD
And so, a Military Wife is a translator for her family and his.
She is the long- distance link to keep them informed;
the glue that holds them together.
A Military Wife has her moments:
She wants to wring his neck;
Dye his uniform pink;
Refuse to move to Siberia ;
But she pulls herself together.
Give her a few days,
A travel brochure,
A long hot bath,
A pledge to the flag,
A wedding picture,
And she goes.
She packs.
She moves.
She follows.
Why?
What for?
How come?
You may think it is because she has lost her mind.
But actually it is because she has lost her heart.
It was stolen from her by a man,
Who puts duty first,
Who longs to deploy,
Who salutes the flag,
And whose boots in the doorway remind her that as long as he is her Military Husband,
She will remain his military wife.
And would have it no other way.
--Author Unknown
Friday, February 5, 2010
hmmmmm......
Another day has come and gone......wow where does the time go?? Can anyone tell me?? I look at the calendar and it says it is February....yesterday it was Sept.......I know it was, yet today it is February....wow. I look at the day and I am truly thankful, thankful that I have gotten another day. Another day to kiss my babies, another day for them to make me laugh, another day to get a hug from them.
While the nights are lonely without Allen, my days are full of life. Filled with friends and things to do. I don't know how it all gets done but it does, maybe not immediately but it gets done. There are times when I stop and think to myself......why do I do this? The kids don't really care whether the floor is clean and the dust is done...all they care is that their momma loves them. I look at them and nothing else matters. They light up life more than the brightest light ever could. It makes me sad that I get to see how bright they are everyday and all Allen gets are pieces of our days. Moments in time. We live for our weekend phone calls, sometimes the kids talk his ear off and sometimes they don't. They think of him all the time though, they ask for him, they talk about him, they want him home as much as he wants to be home. One day at a time we get closer to that day.....and it gives me butterflies thinking about what it will be like to have him close again. **sigh**
I saw the movie "Dear John" today, I thought it would make me sadder then it did. I don't think it caught me as off guard as I thought it would. There is a scene and they are saying good bye at the airport. John is returning to Germany, there are tears of sadness. Maybe it was because I have been there. I have been the one standing alone until I couldn't see him anymore and I have stood there more than once. I didn't find it all that sad....I guess because I almost understand the inner turmoil that John faced when deciding what to do after 9/11.
9/11 found me as a Private stationed at Camp Humphrey's, Korea. I know if I had been at a point of getting out, I would have signed the papers to stay in. There would have been no question. That comes from my without a doubt belief that we truly are the free world. That our way of life is to be coveted and fought for. Maybe it wasn't that sad because I understand why my husband does what he does and I love him for it. As a former Soldier I know how hard it is to choose between two things you fundamentally believe in....Family or Country. I am thankful that I had the option to choose my family over my country. Given another chance I would make the same choice over again.
While the nights are lonely without Allen, my days are full of life. Filled with friends and things to do. I don't know how it all gets done but it does, maybe not immediately but it gets done. There are times when I stop and think to myself......why do I do this? The kids don't really care whether the floor is clean and the dust is done...all they care is that their momma loves them. I look at them and nothing else matters. They light up life more than the brightest light ever could. It makes me sad that I get to see how bright they are everyday and all Allen gets are pieces of our days. Moments in time. We live for our weekend phone calls, sometimes the kids talk his ear off and sometimes they don't. They think of him all the time though, they ask for him, they talk about him, they want him home as much as he wants to be home. One day at a time we get closer to that day.....and it gives me butterflies thinking about what it will be like to have him close again. **sigh**
I saw the movie "Dear John" today, I thought it would make me sadder then it did. I don't think it caught me as off guard as I thought it would. There is a scene and they are saying good bye at the airport. John is returning to Germany, there are tears of sadness. Maybe it was because I have been there. I have been the one standing alone until I couldn't see him anymore and I have stood there more than once. I didn't find it all that sad....I guess because I almost understand the inner turmoil that John faced when deciding what to do after 9/11.
9/11 found me as a Private stationed at Camp Humphrey's, Korea. I know if I had been at a point of getting out, I would have signed the papers to stay in. There would have been no question. That comes from my without a doubt belief that we truly are the free world. That our way of life is to be coveted and fought for. Maybe it wasn't that sad because I understand why my husband does what he does and I love him for it. As a former Soldier I know how hard it is to choose between two things you fundamentally believe in....Family or Country. I am thankful that I had the option to choose my family over my country. Given another chance I would make the same choice over again.
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