Used to what? The alone time? The quiet time? No. There is nothing that can replace the sound of his breathing at night, the smile at the end of the day, or the laughter from the living room after a long day.
The being apart never gets any easier.
Lessons are learned and new coping skills are found. Days are filled with the kids and all they have going on. Meals are consumed out of necessity and they are often cold or interrupted frequently by the children's needs. Lots of growing up occurs during these periods of separation, or at least it should. You don't ever learn how to live "without" him, you learn to savor the time with him. I've learned that time is the only thing that matters, not missed birthdays and holidays. The time we get together should be considered the greatest gift of all. It should be like that for anything in life. We often take "time" for granted. We assume that things will always be the same, that nothing changes and that those that are important to us will always be there. In reality that is not the case. Life moves on, children grow, parents age and the time we should be spending with those we love passes.
Time marches on, first it is counted in months, then in weeks and days, then finally by hours. Even though it is still in the weeks stage, it is the downhill slope. It feels like the end is so far off.
The emptiness won't be filled until he is in his house, with his wife, his children and his dogs. The side of the bed, where he sleeps, will be cold until he fills it. The quiet moments will be filled with the sound of his breathing as he sleeps. There will be no more alone time, it will be filled with the happiness of being together again.
I miss him...
Daisypath Friendship tickers
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Who's opinion really matters?
So I follow a few support pages **gasp** shocking I know! There are good laughs and there is helpful information. Sometimes, there is just ignorance. Maybe on both sides. Not ashamed to admit, that yes, I am judgmental. It is in fact one of my flaws. However, I can back up my opinion.
The topic was "Should Military Wives Really Speak on other Soldiers weight Issues?"
In all reality, who cares what anyone talks about? If I am talking about someone that I saw on the street, in my home or in my car it is MY business.
The comments that followed were enlightening to say the least.
ADRIENNE: You can talk about whatever you want, in the privacy of your own home. Outside of that, they really have no grounds. Everyone talks about everyone else, it is human nature. If someone asks for tips or advice on a public forum, can't really get upset when someone says something you don't agree with.
I have made rude comments and I will back up my comments if I have to. Especially when the "big person" is mad because I ordered a bacon cheeseburger with the works and they have to eat a salad because they are on a diet. I watch what I eat and I am physically active.
You can't tell me that you have walked by a group of fat people gorging themselves at the local buffet and not one judgmental comment passed through your mind. After that I am sure most would ether text a comment or the incident would get brought up in a conversation.
POSTED BY ANOTHER FOLLOWER: No I don't think that when I walk past heavier people, I have a lot of over weight friends and its their choice how they live their lives. I'm not perfect and I know that. When my friends and family come to me because they want to change I only support and encourage. My husbands unit is none of my business at one point and time it was because we were in the same unit but once it was no longer something that affected me as a Soldier. People don't have to be hateful all the time, and worrying about something that isn't effecting like another Soldiers weight is none of your business.
POSTED BY ANOTHER FOLLOWER: Wow! Gorging themselves?? Dam Adrienne sounds like someone needs a life lesson in judging! I have worked my ass off to loose 80 lbs! Alot of my weight gain was between having 4 kids, and my husband deploying every other year, not to mention that I have always struggled with my weight, what kills me is people like you! Before I got prego with this child I use to kick ass in my aerobics class as the BIGGER person and was always getting dirty looks by people like YOU! So what you can eat a cheeseburger and not gain weight, you ever stop to think that maybe just maybe that is their cheat day? I know when I was losing weight I would always have a cheat a day, its the best way to not binge and get off track! Of course you eat healthy EVERYDAY, (which Im sorry but I do not believe, alot of my skinnier friends have been blessed with a high metabolism and have even told me that) They give me credit for tryin but not one say shit to me if I go out to eat, I deserve it! Get off your high horse and quit judging people, you dont know their life struggles nor one thing about them!
ADRIENNE: I don't consider a person eating 4 cheeseburgers in one meal as having a "cheat" day. There are heavier people and there are obese people. Hate to break it to you but there is a difference. For those that think the weight of others doesn't affect you, watch the cost of health care continue to rise. Watch as the government continues to tax high fat foods. Obesity is a problem for this country. Carrying an extra 10 lbs because you just had a baby is understandable. Weighing 240 and being 5'4" is not. Call me what you want. I gave my opinion and it won't change because someone might get their feelings hurt by what I have to say.
FOLLOWER #2: It cost more money to eat healthy than it does to eat fat foods! And its not about hurting peoples feelings, you have your opinion, however to put a number like 240 on a 5'4 person is not undertandable, Im 5'2 and my highest weight was 280! Other than my weight at that time I was healthy, even my doc said so! Of course the reason I lost my my weight was because I wanted to prevent myself from getting any type of health issues! And you can say what you like about obesity, unless you have lived it you will never fully understand, its easy for someone to sit outside a situation and judge! And if you really want to get onto health care how about we take all the freebies like medcaid away from people who dont need it, or abuse the system, its not all due to Obesity! How about cancer? How about people who smoke? How about alchool! Everything makes health care go up!
There are a few issues I have with this followers comments, besides the glaring grammatical errors. First of all 5'2" and 280 lbs is obese NOT "healthy." Whatever "Dr." told her that is a quack. At that height and weight BMI would be 51.2, which equals obesity.
When I started my diet and workout plan I weighed 160 lbs. I cried when I saw those numbers on the scale. It scared me. Not because I don't want to be fat, I don't want to be obese. I don't want to ever get to the point where I make excuses for my weight. According to the BMI calculator 5'7" and 160 lbs is over-weight. I had a reading of 25.1 which is on the edge of "over weight." Having a Hispanic background and knowing what some of my aunts look like, 160 lbs was a reality check!!!
As for the video that accompanied this topic of conversation...Comparing your ability to be a good mother and being over weight to a Soldier being over weight and doing his job is comparing apples and oranges.
Being over weight or obese does effect your ability to be a "good" parent. You do not make good food choices, your children are not taught what foods are good for their bodies. They are not taught how to delay gratification. Nor are they shown that moderation is the key. How can you set the example for healthy living if you, as a parent, do not make healthy choices?
An over weight Soldier, can be considered a liability. Their cardio output is affected. Their ability to move on the battle field can be affected. The myriad of health issues that accompany over weight Soldiers can also be considered a liability. There are standards for a reason. Especially when lives are on the line. How far can the average Soldier carry or drag an over weight Soldier, including their gear and the other Soldier's gear? Some might get him pretty far, but at what expense? What about the one that can't carry or drag them to safety?
No, you don't have to eat the whole wheat, fiber filled meal everyday all of the time. However, when I see someone consuming the equivalent of a weeks worth of calories, in one sitting, I pass judgement. No one needs that many calories in a day.
With the workout plan that I am on, I require between 2000 and 2300 calories a day. Obviously it depends on what my activity level is on any given day. Making better food choices, leaner meats, whole grains, fresh fruits and veggies and drinking more water than a fish lives in have all contributed to my weight loss of 15 lbs.
Yes it has been difficult and there are days when I want to go buy a box of chocolate eclairs and say to hell with it! But the healthy woman in the mirror kicks the fat one in the shins!!! It is all about self control and putting needs over wants.
The topic was "Should Military Wives Really Speak on other Soldiers weight Issues?"
In all reality, who cares what anyone talks about? If I am talking about someone that I saw on the street, in my home or in my car it is MY business.
The comments that followed were enlightening to say the least.
ADRIENNE: You can talk about whatever you want, in the privacy of your own home. Outside of that, they really have no grounds. Everyone talks about everyone else, it is human nature. If someone asks for tips or advice on a public forum, can't really get upset when someone says something you don't agree with.
I have made rude comments and I will back up my comments if I have to. Especially when the "big person" is mad because I ordered a bacon cheeseburger with the works and they have to eat a salad because they are on a diet. I watch what I eat and I am physically active.
You can't tell me that you have walked by a group of fat people gorging themselves at the local buffet and not one judgmental comment passed through your mind. After that I am sure most would ether text a comment or the incident would get brought up in a conversation.
POSTED BY ANOTHER FOLLOWER: No I don't think that when I walk past heavier people, I have a lot of over weight friends and its their choice how they live their lives. I'm not perfect and I know that. When my friends and family come to me because they want to change I only support and encourage. My husbands unit is none of my business at one point and time it was because we were in the same unit but once it was no longer something that affected me as a Soldier. People don't have to be hateful all the time, and worrying about something that isn't effecting like another Soldiers weight is none of your business.
POSTED BY ANOTHER FOLLOWER: Wow! Gorging themselves?? Dam Adrienne sounds like someone needs a life lesson in judging! I have worked my ass off to loose 80 lbs! Alot of my weight gain was between having 4 kids, and my husband deploying every other year, not to mention that I have always struggled with my weight, what kills me is people like you! Before I got prego with this child I use to kick ass in my aerobics class as the BIGGER person and was always getting dirty looks by people like YOU! So what you can eat a cheeseburger and not gain weight, you ever stop to think that maybe just maybe that is their cheat day? I know when I was losing weight I would always have a cheat a day, its the best way to not binge and get off track! Of course you eat healthy EVERYDAY, (which Im sorry but I do not believe, alot of my skinnier friends have been blessed with a high metabolism and have even told me that) They give me credit for tryin but not one say shit to me if I go out to eat, I deserve it! Get off your high horse and quit judging people, you dont know their life struggles nor one thing about them!
ADRIENNE: I don't consider a person eating 4 cheeseburgers in one meal as having a "cheat" day. There are heavier people and there are obese people. Hate to break it to you but there is a difference. For those that think the weight of others doesn't affect you, watch the cost of health care continue to rise. Watch as the government continues to tax high fat foods. Obesity is a problem for this country. Carrying an extra 10 lbs because you just had a baby is understandable. Weighing 240 and being 5'4" is not. Call me what you want. I gave my opinion and it won't change because someone might get their feelings hurt by what I have to say.
FOLLOWER #2: It cost more money to eat healthy than it does to eat fat foods! And its not about hurting peoples feelings, you have your opinion, however to put a number like 240 on a 5'4 person is not undertandable, Im 5'2 and my highest weight was 280! Other than my weight at that time I was healthy, even my doc said so! Of course the reason I lost my my weight was because I wanted to prevent myself from getting any type of health issues! And you can say what you like about obesity, unless you have lived it you will never fully understand, its easy for someone to sit outside a situation and judge! And if you really want to get onto health care how about we take all the freebies like medcaid away from people who dont need it, or abuse the system, its not all due to Obesity! How about cancer? How about people who smoke? How about alchool! Everything makes health care go up!
There are a few issues I have with this followers comments, besides the glaring grammatical errors. First of all 5'2" and 280 lbs is obese NOT "healthy." Whatever "Dr." told her that is a quack. At that height and weight BMI would be 51.2, which equals obesity.
When I started my diet and workout plan I weighed 160 lbs. I cried when I saw those numbers on the scale. It scared me. Not because I don't want to be fat, I don't want to be obese. I don't want to ever get to the point where I make excuses for my weight. According to the BMI calculator 5'7" and 160 lbs is over-weight. I had a reading of 25.1 which is on the edge of "over weight." Having a Hispanic background and knowing what some of my aunts look like, 160 lbs was a reality check!!!
As for the video that accompanied this topic of conversation...Comparing your ability to be a good mother and being over weight to a Soldier being over weight and doing his job is comparing apples and oranges.
Being over weight or obese does effect your ability to be a "good" parent. You do not make good food choices, your children are not taught what foods are good for their bodies. They are not taught how to delay gratification. Nor are they shown that moderation is the key. How can you set the example for healthy living if you, as a parent, do not make healthy choices?
An over weight Soldier, can be considered a liability. Their cardio output is affected. Their ability to move on the battle field can be affected. The myriad of health issues that accompany over weight Soldiers can also be considered a liability. There are standards for a reason. Especially when lives are on the line. How far can the average Soldier carry or drag an over weight Soldier, including their gear and the other Soldier's gear? Some might get him pretty far, but at what expense? What about the one that can't carry or drag them to safety?
No, you don't have to eat the whole wheat, fiber filled meal everyday all of the time. However, when I see someone consuming the equivalent of a weeks worth of calories, in one sitting, I pass judgement. No one needs that many calories in a day.
With the workout plan that I am on, I require between 2000 and 2300 calories a day. Obviously it depends on what my activity level is on any given day. Making better food choices, leaner meats, whole grains, fresh fruits and veggies and drinking more water than a fish lives in have all contributed to my weight loss of 15 lbs.
Yes it has been difficult and there are days when I want to go buy a box of chocolate eclairs and say to hell with it! But the healthy woman in the mirror kicks the fat one in the shins!!! It is all about self control and putting needs over wants.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
add to the bucket list
The incline...enough said. That is my summer goal. I am going to hike the incline. I have two others that are saying they will do it with me. One being the dear husband, the other a good friend. The husband says I am trying to kill him. LOL
They say if you are an experienced hiker it should only take you 45 mins to get it done. I am sure it will take me much longer than that! But here is to hoping for under 2 hours.
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