time....

Sitting in the kitchen while the kids watch movies, I got to thinking.........

Thinking about time.....we have all complained about it....time moves to fast, time goes by so slow....Instead of complaining about how fast or slow it moves...we should take advantage of it. We should give it away freely and spend it like we spend money, whether we have it or not. We all should stop and look at what is in front of us. We should take the time to laugh, to love, to live. My hope for next year is to be able to make time for all of those that love me and that I love. To enjoy them for who they are and what they mean to me. To let them know that I love them and they are important to me. To show them that I value them enough to make time for them in my life..........

That's just mean....

Continuing on the topic of bullying.......


As most of you know both girls are in school now. The school has an "anti bullying" program. After watching a few vblogs about military wives bullying other military wives on various facebook sites, I decided to get some perspective. Our question and answer series.


Me: Girls, what is a bully?
Girl 1: someone that wants something that you have.
Girl 2: Yeah they punch you and yell at you until you give it to them.
Me: oh are they awful people?
Girl 1: yes, if they don't learn that if they ask we will share with them.
Girl 2: no, they just need a hug and someone to love them.


Me: Girl 1, do you remember when you lost your tooth and I wanted to send a picture to auntie and grammy so we could laugh.....
Girl 1: yeah.
Girl 2: she still doesn't have those teeth.
Me: Since you looked silly and we laughed at you, does that make me and Grammy and Auntie bullies?
Girl 1: no.
Girl 2: it might make you mean, but not a bully.


Me: If I think your clothes are silly or that they don't fit, and I laugh at you when I see you in silly clothes does that make me a bully?
Girl 1: no, but you have no fashion sense.
Girl 2: Well I always dress nice, so people won't laugh at me.
(they wear uniforms to school.)


Me: If I was your friend and you think that everything I tell you is mean, would you still be my friend?
Girl 1: No, unless you apologized to me. But if you were mean again, I would not be your friend.
Girl 2: No, I would tell you that you were mean and I would not talk to you anymore. I don't like mean people.


Me: What do you do if you see or hear something you don't like?
Girl 1: Walk away. Sometimes the bigger kids say mean things, so my friends and I stay away from them...then we don't have to hear what they think.
Girl 2 did not respond to this question.


I gave them a situation...Girl 1 likes chocolate ice cream, Girl 2 likes strawberry.
Me: Since you like chocolate and she likes strawberry does that make you better or her better?
Girl 1: I'm not better, just different.
Girl 2: Why would it make her better?
Me: I didn't say she was better I said, because she likes chocolate and you like strawberry is she better?
Girl 2: No. That's like saying the Boy is better because he likes vanilla...that is silly.


For the record my girls are 7 and 5. They are in Kindergarten and 1st grade. If they can grasp the concept of removing themselves from situations that they do not agree with, why can't adults get it?
If you see something that offends you, don't look. If you don't like what I have to say or how I say it, don't associate with me.
**these were not prompted, nor were they made up. They may not be verbatim but they are pretty close. We were in the car when this conversation took place.**

Did I grow up to be a bully?

Bully: n. a tormentor of someone smaller or weaker.

Lots of talk about being a bully on the net today. It got me thinking....which is a very dangerous thing. I was going to make a video but, I have a horrible habit of throwing in the f bomb when I get really heated....at least if I type it, delete handles is much more efficiently. Any how... I have a few opinions on a few things

People that wander around the world in their pajamas, it is tacky. It shows a lack of self respect. I am not talking about being at the ER at 3 am with a sick child. I am talking about cruising the mall with your BFF in your scooby jammies and fluffy slippers. 

Individuals that wear clothes that don't fit them...whether to big or to small. Again to me it lacks self respect. 

Parents that do not take the time to make sure their children are presentable. Children can't learn what you do not teach. 

Individuals who feel they are entitled to something just by virtue of who they are or who they married. Everything I have I earned. Freebies are great and they come well appreciated.

In regards to jammies in public I have often been told to be considerate of their situation. What situation excuses you from being a presentable individual? Depression? Having small children?? Having a deployed spouse?? I am not talking about the random woman standing at the pharmacy pick up window. I am talking about the individuals that are constantly looking like slobs. You know that mom you avoid because she smells bad or the woman you avoid talking to because she is wearing bright pink pajama pants. 

**yes most of my examples are women....I haven't seen to many men out in bright pink pj pants. I am sure they exist but let's stay on topic**

When it comes to consideration where do we draw the line? Would you be comfortable is your physician walked into the exam room wearing obviously dirty clothes/scrubs? Would you allow them to exam you? I know I wouldn't. I expect people to have a level of self respect for themselves and those around them. That goes for children as well. If people see my children consistently dirty, uncombed and in clothes that is ill fitting. That is a direct reflection on me as a parent. I do not want to be seen as a mother who doesn't take the time her children need. 

I am a married mother of three, my husband has been deployed 3 times....excuses only go so far. Stop being a slob, show you have respect for yourself and for those you represent.

Ill fitting clothes size 14 does not translate to size 5. If your pants don't stay at your waist, buy a belt! I don't need to say any more about that!

I don't think having these opinions makes me a bully. They may make me judgmental, but I hold myself to these same standards. I may not look like a million dollars at all times....but you won't catch me out with my shopping in my sweat pants!

The overall topic of bullying has gotten a bit out of control as well. Kids have disagreements. If people would teach their children how to stand up for themselves. I was the nerd kid in school, I wore glasses, I had braces and I could tear through a book when given the chance. Was I bullied?? I am sure I was at some point. However, my mother taught us that bullies don't know pick on kids that stand up for themselves. Make your kids feel important at home so they know they can defend themselves.