hmmmmm......

Another day has come and gone......wow where does the time go?? Can anyone tell me?? I look at the calendar and it says it is February....yesterday it was Sept.......I know it was, yet today it is February....wow. I look at the day and I am truly thankful, thankful that I have gotten another day. Another day to kiss my babies, another day for them to make me laugh, another day to get a hug from them.

While the nights are lonely without Allen, my days are full of life. Filled with friends and things to do. I don't know how it all gets done but it does, maybe not immediately but it gets done. There are times when I stop and think to myself......why do I do this? The kids don't really care whether the floor is clean and the dust is done...all they care is that their momma loves them. I look at them and nothing else matters. They light up life more than the brightest light ever could. It makes me sad that I get to see how bright they are everyday and all Allen gets are pieces of our days. Moments in time. We live for our weekend phone calls, sometimes the kids talk his ear off and sometimes they don't. They think of him all the time though, they ask for him, they talk about him, they want him home as much as he wants to be home. One day at a time we get closer to that day.....and it gives me butterflies thinking about what it will be like to have him close again. **sigh**



I saw the movie "Dear John" today, I thought it would make me sadder then it did. I don't think it caught me as off guard as I thought it would. There is a scene and they are saying good bye at the airport. John is returning to Germany, there are tears of sadness. Maybe it was because I have been there. I have been the one standing alone until I couldn't see him anymore and I have stood there more than once. I didn't find it all that sad....I guess because I almost understand the inner turmoil that John faced when deciding what to do after 9/11.
9/11 found me as a Private stationed at Camp Humphrey's, Korea. I know if I had been at a point of getting out, I would have signed the papers to stay in. There would have been no question. That comes from my without a doubt belief that we truly are the free world. That our way of life is to be coveted and fought for. Maybe it wasn't that sad because I understand why my husband does what he does and I love him for it. As a former Soldier I know how hard it is to choose between two things you fundamentally believe in....Family or Country. I am thankful that I had the option to choose my family over my country. Given another chance I would make the same choice over again.