..........

Almost 36 hours into this and it feels, I don't know what it feels like. I just know I hate it. I have said this before, I hate how everything is just waiting for him. From his shoes to his dog. Everything is in the place he left it. Most things will be moved either to be put away or because I find a new place for whatever it is. Last deployment there was a granola bar and a dr pepper that sat where he left it for 9 months. I couldn't move them. It looks like his shoes have taken residence on the side of the bed this time. The laundry is done so all remnants of him coming home from work have been set aside. I don't even get to move his razor....since he took it with him.
Back to hearing the phone ring when it really doesn't. Back to taking a deep breath before opening the door when someone rings the bell.