Who took my cape?

Well I was finally starting to deal with this whole deployment thing. The waiting to hear from him is still killing me. But we had established a groove......
Then Tuesday I came home from biology class feeling a little under the weather. My little Moon wasn't feeling so hot on Tuesday either. So Wednesday him and I hung out at home. Thursday the weather was awful so it was family day....all four of us were home. I continued to get worse. My cough picked up..I would sneeze at every turn. It was lovely. The kids destroyed the house and I camped out on the couch. Yet I only got worse.....I hauled my big butt into the ER.......
Isn't it lovely how as a mother, when you are sick, you have no energy to feed yourself...yet you must summon the internal strength that got you through every labor pain, to ensure your children have eaten. Where does that strength come from? As a religious person I would say it is God's gift to mothers.
The ER was probably the best place for me. They gave me an IV and some toradol. I actually felt better, I was able to eat and I got a good night's rest. Friday has proved to be less fruitful. I got the kids off to daycare. It was PJ day!! YIPPEE
I sat around all day and waited for my Mr. to get online...he didn't. But at this point in the game. No news is good news. Isn't that what I am supposed to tell myself? Funny thing is my head understands that but everything else is wound up tight. I decided to sleep the day away!! It felt good. Now it is bedtime...two down....one to go!!! She will crash in a few!! LOL
The good thing is, is there are so many wonderful people in my life right now. I hope I can one day do for them, what they have done for me. Without them, this cold would seem like Mt Everest.
Halloween just does not seem to be our holiday...last year all three kids were sick. Daddy fixed it though...he bought them a movie and some candy and we all camped out on the living room floor. Giving me a break I desperately needed that week. Now here I am with all the weight on my shoulders.
Super woman could not do the things we as Army Wives do. We hold it all together.........why? Wouldn't it be so much easier to let it all go? How much easier would life be right now if I did not have to shoulder this? I notice that I can not even call it a burden........In my heart it isn't. It is just something I do. I keep the home fires burning so he has a safe place to come home to. Why? Because I love him. Because he is my friend. Because I know he would do the same for me. He did not ask me to do this. We decided together that this is the life we would have. I can ask him to ask for a safer job.....but would he really be happy? Would he be satisfied with that?
I can only imagine the stress he is under.....living in fear for his life and the way of life for his family. Yet, I wonder if he understands what goes on at home. Does he feel how much we love and miss him? Does he know we wake up each morning and thank God no one has knocked on our door. Does he know how it breaks my heart to hear his children cry for him? I wonder if he knows just what goes into running this family.....................and sometimes I wonder if he appreciates just what I do for him..............